It is high time for an update. I’m sure you can gather from my last post that things haven’t been going so smooth lately. I basically spent World Breastfeeding Week struggling and in pain.
Little man’s latch had been awesome immediately following the lip tie revision and for several days after. Some time during the middle of last week things started taking a turn for the worst. He started by clenching his upper lip when I would try to do his stretching exercises. Then he started doing it while nursing. I could not flip his lip out. Then the clamping came back. And his whole mouth and jaw became very tight. Awful pain again. I’m back to sandwiching my breast and pulling on his chin.
During all of this we had two chiropractor visits and one craniosacral therapy. The chiropractor adjusted his neck which was tight. This gave mild relief for a few hours then back to pain and tightness. The craniosacral therapy made no noticeable difference. I’m back to that feeling of, I’m doing everything right and it’s still not working. Why isn’t it working?
My poor little man. I can feel him closing up, pulling himself inward. I know it is because I am doing the same while we nurse. The pain has me clenching my own jaw while he sucks. The struggle brings tears to my eyes again. He sees this. He knows this and it effects him. He is still overall a happy person, he always has been. But we are missing out on those joyful, fun, relaxing, loving, bonding moments we should be having. Instead they are replaced by that old familiar pain and struggle.
I want to give up yet I want to scream that it isn’t over. We’ve come too far. I’m not stopping now. More research, more questions. New answers. Yesterday we went back to craniosacral therapy. This time we add on massage. Afterwards he is more loose than I have ever seen him. His shoulders are down from his ears and his face is so relaxed. He finally latches again without the clamping. Relief. He starts to tighten up again ever so slightly by the end of the day and I give him a light face and shoulder massage while he nurses and he relaxes again.
It is flat out amazing and horrific all the pain and suffering a tongue tie and lip tie can cause. So many things connect to the mouth. I’m finally coming to the realization that this will be a longer trial than I thought even with the revisions. I’m finally understanding what the relearning process really means not just for him but for both of us. And most importantly I know that we can do it and that all of this is for him, to give him my best.